A vibrant painting of a fish monster eating the world.

Dealing With Loss

Everyone has experienced loss in their life. It is something that happens to every soul on this earth, and it really sucks. It is one of the worst things to experience, and I know how bad it can be. I painted the featured painting for this article after I had gone through a substantial loss in my own personal life. It represents the world shattering around me into a million tiny pieces when I felt like everything was constricting in on itself. I remember some days were really hard, and other days were abysmal. Sometimes I didn’t feel like even getting out of bed, and it really sucked, it did. But I just had to keep moving forward. I know that can be hard sometimes, I know the roadblocks along the way may make it seem impossible, but you just have to believe that somewhere down the road there is a light and maybe even a lesson to be learned.

Loss is the worst. It sucks. It’s hell. But it is something we all have to experience in order to grow as people. It is something that makes us stronger individuals, so that we can be even better in the relationships we still have and will make in the future. It is something that can even be healing and therapeutic. Loss is pain, it is grief, it is sadness, and it is anger, but it is also a teacher. It is a reminder that nothing in our world is forever, and that we have to cherish the precious time that we are given, never taking what we have for granted.

A vibrant painting of a fish monster eating the world.
World Eater, by Sam Perin.

Loss reminds us that everything in this world is a gift, and for reasons beyond our control, those gifts can be taken away in an instant. Like the snap of a finger, something can just simply disappear from our lives without warning. I know that’s scary, and may be a bit melodramatic, but it’s true. I’m not writing this to bring fear to anyone, or make anyone upset, but I feel like it is important to keep in mind, because remembering it makes us better people. It allows us to really relate to others, cherish experiences, and try to make the best of what we have in the here and now, not what the past has done or what the future will bring.

If you have suffered major loss yourself, whether it be the death of a loved one, an earth shattering breakup, or anything else, I know how bad it can be, and just know that you aren’t alone. Almost every person on this planet can relate, so take solace in that. And remember that even though it sucks, it is something that everyone experiences at one time or another. So just keep moving forward, never give up, and don’t look back, because the present, the here and now, is what’s important.

The pain that we suffer during loss — the feelings of regret, the feelings of sadness, and perhaps even anger, are what make us stronger individuals in the long run. They are what allow us to keep moving forward even in the darkest times. Everyone of us is capable of achieving whatever we wish, we just have to find the strength within ourselves to keep moving. Some may need help to realize this, some may even need medication for depression and anxiety before they can get a hold of their life, but we are all strong people, each and every one of us, even if we don’t think we are, and that is something I know for certain. Sometimes we convince ourselves that we aren’t, but if you search deep enough, you can find that strength even in the most neglected recesses of your mind.

It is hard to deal with loss and the side effects of it. I remember hearing something that a friend of mine once told me. He used to talk about the seven stages of grief, and I used to believe it was true. But to be honest, I’m not so sure anymore. All that stuff is just a bunch of relative information, each one of our experiences is wholly unique. Someone told me I would be angry, and someone else told me I wouldn’t care anymore. But neither of those things ever did happen. I never was angry, I never stopped caring, I just kept moving forward. Everyone’s experience is so unique, that it’s okay to not go through the same “stages” as are commonly accepted by the masses. Sometimes you can move on and find your strength over night, or sometimes it will take years, its up to you, and it’s each of our choices to sulk in anger and self deprecation or to move on.

Perhaps the best advice that I have ever been told was by my friend and fellow artist, Magdalena. She told me one of the most real things I have ever heard, and I am truly grateful for her words. At the time it felt harsh, but I came to realize how right she was. She told me I just have to suffer through it. She didn’t sugar coat it, she didn’t say “oh, it’ll be okay.” She just simply said, I had to suffer through it, and she was right. I just had to let it come to pass. There is no easy way out of dealing with loss, and there is no cure, but there is a healthy way to deal with it. You have to accept it, and just keep living your life. Try to do the things you love, see the people you care about, and just keep living your life as best you can, and one day, you’ll come to realize that the loss you suffered doesn’t have to mean the end of who you are, or your life. You’ll realize it was just a bump along the road, and hopefully maybe even something that taught you something important or opened doors for the future. Yes, it may hurt to think about the loss, it may never be something that doesn’t hurt to remember, but that is okay too. Because we are all people, and we all have emotions. Just know that you can stand up from your loss with a new sense of self and move forward, shining your own light brighter than ever before into the future for all to see.

Thank you so much for reading this post, I hope you found it helpful in some way. Don’t forget to follow what drives you, and have an amazing day!

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