“I just don’t get it? Did I do something wrong?”
“Why did he do that to me?”
“Why did she ever say that?”
“Why did it have to happen that way?”
At one point or another we have all asked questions like these to ourselves. Whether it was in the wake of a breakup, the aftermath of a huge fight with your friend, or some crazy event that changed your life (Or maybe you were a secret agent on a spy mission 😉). But one thing is for certain, we’ve all said it to ourselves before. We’ve all talked about it among our peers and closest friends, and we’ve all wondered “just what in the world were they thinking?”. To this I say, I have no idea. But one thing is for certain, chances are you may never know, and:
that is okay
People are immensely complicated creatures, we all have our own hopes, our own dreams, our own motivations. We all strive for our own unique goals, and sometimes those goals don’t coincide. While there are definitely cases where perhaps you, or the other person did in fact do something wrong, many times the question of ‘why’ and ‘what’ should actually be of ‘what now’ and ‘who now’. Because, no matter how hard you try to figure it out, whatever it may be, it may never make sense. I know that’s a scary thought, that something that happened in your life, that something someone did or said to you, may never make sense. But it is okay. It is okay for it to not make sense.
After giving it some time, maybe one day the truth will come to you. You might be out shopping, you may be on a date, you may be sitting on your couch with a big big bowl of popcorn watching reruns of Friends, and you’ll get that precious “aha” moment. A single point in time where everything comes together and you finally say to yourself, ‘so that’s why’. But then again, maybe you won’t. If you do, cherish the moment, because everything will make sense to you, and you will feel like you can finally move on.
But for the vast majority of situations, especially those involving complicated events, that “aha” moment, that singular moment of realization, may never come. Or perhaps you’ll only come to understand part of it. Understanding, but not truly understanding (honestly that doesn’t even make sense to me 😅). And if it never comes, we just have to accept that. It may feel like you can never move on. In fact it may feel like a heavy weight is pulling you down, chaining you to your own mind’s whims. But you have to break free, you have to realize that the world will keep turning, and that even though this one event makes no sense, there are millions upon trillions that do. And those are all opportunities. I guess what I’m getting at, is that if something or someone does something bad to you, and you don’t understand it, but you wish you did, sometimes sitting there and trying to figure it out in a weird mental gray-space is the worst thing you can do. Sometimes the best medicine to anything in life is life itself!
I know that may be hard for some, especially those who suffer from depression, anxiety, or other mental illnesses (in those cases I highly highly recommend seeking help).
You just have to pull yourself out of the trap, and tell yourself ‘It’s okay’. We all have to learn at some point to move on and move forward.
Like I said before, people are complicated creatures, and each one of us has our very own unique ideas and goals. If, down your path, you ended up bumping heads with someone whom you thought was the same as you but ended up being completely different, just take it as a life lesson and keep walking. Blaze your own trail through the world, and follow your heart. Don’t let the bumps along the way stop you from living your life.
On the flip side of trying to understand things that happened, or things someone else did. Sometimes an understanding will never come to you unless you understand yourself. I’ve found that self understanding is one of the most important ingredients to navigating life and the world. Without it we get lost in our own minds (which is unavoidable at times, and scary for some). We are all finding out new things about ourselves every day, constantly striving to improve our character, make ourselves better, and grow as people, and that really is important.
So, perhaps, the best answer to that thing that keeps coming back into your head, that question of ‘why’ or ‘how’, may be to ask ‘how can I do better’ and ‘why did I do what I did’, instead. Please don’t ask these questions to self indulge you’re self conscious, but ask these questions with the goal of bettering oneself and doing better in the future. Every interpersonal event is a two way street, even if we never see the other lane. So working on yourself may actually lead to understanding that ever so complicated thing you’d never figured out before.
This world is complicated. Even those of us who are simple are still complicated, and that is okay. Sometimes we may never come to understand or relate to someone in the way we wish, just because the way each person thinks or views the world can be so very different. But what’s important is that each and every one of us makes an active effort to better ourselves, try to be accepting of others and their ideas, and help to bring everyone closer together through commonality and universal understanding. I propose now, that the world is actually not complicated. You can scale it down, or scale it up, but if we are all complicated, then we are all simple.
Everything is Simple
We are all people with goals, hopes, and dreams, and we all have our own aspirations and reasons for doing things. Sometimes you will never understand why or how someone did something, but that’s okay, because you can walk away knowing that you learned something, and that that person was simply acting on their own principles. We all boil down to the same universal understanding of who we are as people, and once you realize that — that in actually everyone is really the same (yes we are all very unique, but we are also the same), then you’ll finally have peace of mind within yourself and the world.
Thank you so much for reading this quick blurb, I hope you all liked it! have an amazing day, and follow your passion!